Jingxuan Blog

selling post!

2011-12-25T20:11:00.000-08:00

PLEASE FUND ME!

Crochet Shorts (BRAND NEW)-

SELLING AT $20 (photo and info credits from thedaintyladies.livejournal.com)

Waist: 12.8" Hip: 16.5"
Length: 13"
Fits: UK 8 - 10 (approximate)

Item: Plush Chiffon Flutter Blouse (White) Brand new
comes with two belts. pm me if u need photos of the belt!
SELLING @ $20 (photo credits from thedaintyladies.livejournal.com)

Pit to Pit: 18.5"
Length Down From Shoulder: 27"
Fits: UK 6 - 12 (approximate)

Herve Lerge Inspired Double Strapped Dress (Nude) -selling at $21 (photo and info credits from thedaintyladies.livejournal.com)

it to Pit: 14.5" (laid flat) - 17.5" (stretched)
Length Down From Shoulder: 31.5"
Fits: UK 6 - 12 (approximate)

Tailored Work Skirt from TDC (BRAND NEW IN BAG)
selling @ $21

Ptp 12~14"
Length 18.5"
Fit uk 6-10.

Photo and info credits from http://www.thedesignclosets.com/

Toga Tulip Dress in Dusty Rose from ETERNITYLOFT.LJ (OOS ON SITE!)

BRAND NEW

PTP: 12" to 16"
Length: 33" (front) / 35" (back)
Material: Quality Lycra

SELLING AT $22

photos and info credits from eternityloft.livejournal.com

Jazmyne One-shoulder dress

Measurements: PTP 14.5"-20", 33.5" down.
Pit down: 27"

SELLING @ $25

photos and info credits from gipsyscarlet.com

DO DROP ME A MAIL AT : jingxuan___@hotmail.com

thanks all!!

2011-11-11T00:19:00.001-08:00

Aquarius and Pisces may appear to be poles apart but these two signs actually do compliment each other. The charming, mysterious Pisces captivates Aquarius from the start. Pisces is intrigued by the unconventional ways and originality of Aquarius. Both signs are open minded and easy going, making them good friends as well as lovers.

Aquarius and Pisces have opposite traits which may sometimes make this pairing difficult in patches, but both signs have great respect and admiration for each other and importantly will give each other the support they need. Pisces is a dreamer and will sit and worry whereas the more practical Aquarius likes to get things done rather than just thinking about it. The imagination and creativity of Pisces can be a perfect match for the Aquarius who is always on the search for excitement and adventure.

Pisces has the tendency for sudden mood swings which could start to irritate Aquarius and in turn Pisces may find Aquarius' need for so much freedom unsettling and may even cause them to question their commitment to the relationship. Both signs can become emotional, though Aquarius has the ability to show more control and is able to calm down quicker after a heated argument.

Pisces needs to guard against making too many emotional demands and allow Aquarius some space. Aquarius needs to reassure Pisces that they are valued and appreciated and while still allowing Pisces room to explore. Pisces does have a quiet inner strength which Aquarius feels drawn to, they find it easy to fall in love with the caring, sensitive Pisces. Pisces will flourish under the love and support shown by Aquarius.

In time, Pisces and Aquarius, with compassion, consideration and understanding will discover that they have so much to learn and gain from their relationship together. This unlikely pair is a very good example of opposite attraction.

2011-11-06T06:32:00.000-08:00

haven been eating much today.. i ate breakfast set A for my dinner and i kept vommiting non-stop and i'm feeling damn nausea now..

HEN XIN KU AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

UPDATES:

it's 4am now and i'm vomitting like mad and its damn pain and disgusting. so damn thirsty but whatever i drink just came out like vomit together with what i ate for breakfast and dinner.. please make it stop and let me sleep... hen xin ku leh=(

loves

jingxuan

November ain't that bad after all

2011-11-05T08:10:00.000-07:00

We had a talk and had a one last movie date and home snuggling session before we officially start our cool down. i really liked both days with you. It felt really different and new from our usual screaming and shouting.. the whole day you held my hand without letting it go and you held it so tight i felt how important i am to you. when at home, we can do just nothing but still feel the love. i can constantly make the same joke and you will be showing me your biggest grin and smile that really brighten my day. i love your parents, they treat me like i'm theirs and it felt very homely and cosy to stay at your place.

Baby i just want you to know, i suck at expressing how i love you but i really do. Please have faith in me and i will continue to blog more until Christmas Eve arrives.

till then, its 49 more days to seeing you.

ILY

loves

jingxuan

formspring.me

2011-10-31T23:46:00.001-07:00

Ask me questions about anything http://www.formspring.me/jingxuan89

Please be Good, 2012

2011-10-31T18:32:00.001-07:00

2011 haven been a good year for me. Many things happen and if you are my good friend you will know.. some major things that happened include:

1.) i underwent operation in april..

2)i recently got admitted to eye specialist as my eyes were badly infected.. first it was some cornea infection then it became some viral infection...had close to 2.5 weeks MC and it didnt reflect very well on my work wise..

3.)school was not bad academically but i didnt make alot of friends.. well including stephanie, i guess i know like about 3? and i only remembered one of their names. pathetic.

4)i didn't sleep well nor eat well coz relationship issue. It had been the bulk of everything.. and it came to an end for me yesterday after i realise, its no use to ask for it back when it is already so ruined.

5)I lost a friend i knew for 11years (which i dont really care now) over some misunderstanding..

6)i lend money to my friends and end up becoming broke myself..

7) i been to police station

8) when at work, whatever i touch SPOILS.

9) i got accuse for things i didnt do and i guess my reputation had been rather bad and i couldnt fight back coz a particular person decides not to look back to the past and won't lend a helping hand

10.)i almost got crazy and was screaming and shouting and crying whenever i argue with him.

11) i was scolded stupid for the n times by a particular person who pointed his finger at my temple.. and got push down, drag, shouted,scolded for being childish.

hmm that's pretty much about it. i just hope today is a new start of the month.. and if i still am unlucky, may 2012 be a good year for me.

And i will find my life back and be happy.

Loves

jingxuan 1/11/11

2011-10-20T04:38:00.001-07:00

sucks 20/10/2011

Fret Not.

2011-05-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

Friends tell me, have faith in him and yourself. no matter how tough life is, one month will pass very quickly. no matter how much i miss him, he will know it. no matter how much i love him, he will love me back equally even though we don't meet.

it's Day 2.

And i learnt something today. Had a great dinner with the family for mother's day.Did u have a wonderful mother's day too?

jingxuan.

Something Hearty

2011-05-06T00:47:00.000-07:00

I've done this kind of entries like tonnes of times alrdy.. but i still can't help it! It's not that I'm telling you guys i look better now as compared to my school days. I'm just fascinated by how i looked like in the past when i always thought i am chio. but when i look back I'm actually dreaming.

There's this period where Macdonald shaker fries trend started.. like a few years ago.. It was soo addictive after my first bite on the fries that i ate consecutively for 2 weeks. (sometimes i ate Mac for lunch and dinner in a day.) I usually can't finish their usual lightly salted fries in large packet but when shaker fries was introduced, one large packet wasn't even enough. My appetite grew and so did my weight.. there was a huge significant change in my size and i myself couldn't believe it too.. even my mom, who used to ask me to eat more because i was skinny, stared at me and say:"wah.. how come u suddenly become so fat?"

i cant wear my tank top... my face was like a balloon... my arms were huge for my size. and when i went to measure my weight, i was 48kg then. i nearly cried when i saw the digits on the bathroom scale. How is it even possible that I'm weighing 48kg when i seldom even hit 45kg? plus i was around 155cm and i looked like a huge sack of potato.

My fat face. I look like some greedy hamster, stuff nuts in both side of my cheeks. I once loved the person who created shaker fries, now i hate that person to the core.. but ultimately, I'm the only one to be blamed for eating mac 2 weeks,everyday.

One day, i went to school, and i guess i grew so fat that my friends called me "Hercules". It's very sad to hear that term especially when I'm a girl who minds alot about how i looked.. it's like calling a guy, powerpuff girl. very demoralised right?

so anyway, i stopped eating shaker fries from then on.. and i ate only porridge, sandwich and whatever liquid things that i feel can make me slim down..sadly, because i didn't exercise, i still look horrendously round... and my face somehow took the shape of a rectangle.. and its like a square...

Something like that..(I'm the one on the extreme right.) Square right?but that was the skinniest i can go.. and i still think i look quite not bad that time...now that i looked at it... i feel like slapping myself...

Ok random!Just for laughs! hahaha!

So anyway, after a few years, when i start to know baby.. he told me the only way to shed off fats is to jog.. and i went to jog on a few occasions.. i can't believe i used to come in first for girls in 2.4km run with a few classes when i was in secondary school.. because the first time i started jogging this year, i felt old and slow. i can only run 1km and that's pretty much about it.. ofcoz i cheat my way through and used face lifting cream to try and achieve the v-shape face... though still nt v successful, but i believe one day, i can have Vivien Hsu's v-shape face and Megan fox sexy abs.

And believe it or not, I'm joining the Great Eastern run with heng, yl ,cat,fad and cam this July. i haven been clubbing for months and its great to lead a healthy lifestyle now.. eating,drinking and doing healthy things.. something i never tried before and i feel good~~

alright! shall end of with a deceiving but chio photo of my facebook photo~

Ciaos

Jingxuan

Someting Heavy (first)

2011-05-05T23:36:00.000-07:00

Hello people! I know i haven been blogging for quite a while . So i'm gonna post 2 entries today... One a happy one.. and another a more personal one.. we will start with something heavy first before i proceed to something more hearty for you guys.. of coz you may skip the heavy part and just proceed reading the most recent entry instead.

Here Goes..

i wanna apologise & thank my friends and ofcoz, you.

to my friends,you guys have been there with me, during happy or low times.. esp my dog,fad and jia hui whose like there 24/7 via phonecall/whats app/facebook/meetup. Almost everyday without fail, we'll be talking and im glad you guys confide your problem with me.. and we're still staying strong.i once thought about whether friends take me seriously or not after my most recent encounter with a friend of mine who started talking behind my back.(Please read the entry below to find out more.) But it turns out, i gained even more great friends after that incident. So, Thank you. (Not being sarcastic coz i meant it.)

Next, i wanna apologise. I'm sorry. I know some of my friends will be pissed with me.. asking why am i apologising and crying everytime i argue with him.. well, i have to admit, i didn't tell you guys the complete story.. i am always telling my side of the story and you guys subconsciously sided with me after hearing it.. ofcoz its not totally one person's fault.. but what I'm saying is, it takes 2 hands to clap.. some of my friends may have heard of how upset or angry i was when i am with him.. doing really stupid things, pin pointing about his bad and negative points and crying..

but how many knew, that i was actually the one who broke promises first and causes him to be so upset.. how many knew, he always had to spend time coming to Hougang from Pioneer carrying a few bags to my place just to take care of me or when i wanna spend time with him... no matter how late it was ? How many knew he was always bringing me to eat at nice and good restaurant but when his alone, he ate only chap cai peng and chicken rice at coffee shop? how many knew that when i was angry and arguing with him i actually push him away with all my force literally as though i wanna beat him up but he didn't retaliate(obviously, i know I'll definitely lose-.-) ..How many knew that when I'm angry i ignored him for the rest of the day even though we are outside..how many knew that i actually got angry easily and kept saying:"aiya break la" when I'm angry?

when we are angry, we just kept filling our friends with negative stuff.. but when we are happy, we don't bother telling them so much and naturally people will start to think: why be with him/her everytime a couple quarrel? of coz I'm not saying he is totally right all the time, there are still times where his words are really too harsh to handle.. especially when im a girl..but i hope we learn. Though we fall back to zero, we can always tell ourselves:"it okay, we fell together, we can always start climbing again" it may be tiring but when its the 2 of us, it makes us stronger.

And i must admit, everytime i say i give up, i just wish you can chase me. i didn't have the thought of giving up at all. and neither will i say it unless i mean it. '

N, I LOVE YOU GUYS!

ok ending off.

I'm Officially Out.

2011-04-04T01:36:00.000-07:00

I was really pissed to the max at first. I ask myself millions WTF. Then when i calm down... i realised, i'm just plain disappointed. To A: You came whatsapp-ing me about the problem why u avoided me and i thought we already solved the misunderstanding/issue. Then you go around telling people your pissed with me? when i thought everything was settled? To B: Stop being a two headed snake To C: i NEVER even bad mouth you and you tell people you dislike me?.. and you even asked a favour from me just hours ago and i happily helped. Honestly, What is a gathering when we are so afraid of who to trust and who not to.. Who is talking behind our back and who isn't? and hence, i came to a decision, i withdraw from ALL outings and gatherings. And please, if you know me for so many years and you at least have a heart to think that:"hey that's not the jingxuan i knew" come talk to me, i'll tell u everything you need to know. Then again, i'm very sorry but i can't bring myself to forgive the two of you. I always thought i couldnt find a good clique in my poly but i know i always have a Sec5b to rely on. This thought is officially crashed. Still, not forgetting the girls whose always there by my side(plus jiahui!) And go recall if we did ask you out when we plan for outings and stop complaining that your not included when we already did, BITCH.

Something i Learnt.

2011-03-24T19:12:00.000-07:00

Whether we're happy or not

Sad or not

Argueing or not argueing

Still together or broke up

Stress or not

Angry or not

I WILL NEVER EVER TELL ANYONE EVER AGAIN including my best friends.

I SWEAR IT ACROSS MY FULL NAME.

p/s not being angry. just trying to be firm.

jingxuan.

Sugar Pie Honey Bunch

2011-03-23T00:41:00.000-07:00

Radom photo of the day. Ain't the bear just innocently cute and adorable?

2011-03-17T00:13:00.001-07:00

It's been long since i last watch a movie.Felt like catching one... anybody free tomorrow??=)

Found this old school thread/post

2011-03-16T19:52:00.000-07:00

Bold the things that are true.

I’m loud.
I’m obnoxious.
I’m sarcastic.
I’m cocky.
I cry easily.
I have a bad temper.
For the most part, I don’t like people.
I’m easy to get along with.
I like to fight.
I have more enemies than friends.
I’ve smoked.
I’ve smoked weed.
I drink coffee.
I clean my room daily.

My Appearance
I wear makeup.
I wear a piece of jewelry at all times.
I wear contacts.
I wear glasses.
I’ve had braces.
I change my hair color often.
I straighten my hair often.
My ears are pierced.
I have small feet.

Relationships
I’m in a relationship now.
I’m single.
I’m crushin’.
I’ve missed an ex before.
I’m always scared of being hurt.
An ex has physically abused me at least once.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve been in love more than two times.
I believe in love at first sight.
I believe lust is more important than love.

Friendships
I have a best friend.
I have at least ten friends.
I’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.
I’ve beaten up a friend.
I’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.
I can trust at least five people with my life.

Experiences
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been on a train.
I’ve left the state/province.
Someone close to me has died.
I’ve taken a taxi.
I’ve taken a city bus.
I’ve taken a school bus.
I’ve gone bungee jumping.
I’ve made a speech.
I’ve been in some sort of club.
I’ve won an award.
I’ve spent 24 hours on the computer straight.
I’ve been in a physical fight.

Music
I listen to country.
I listen to pop.
I listen to techno.
I listen to rock.
I’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until I hate it.
I hate the radio.
I download music.
I buy CDs.

Television
I spend at least six hours a day watching television.
I watch soap operas daily.
I’m in love with Days Of Our Lives.
I’ve seen and like The OC.
I’ve seen and like One Tree Hill.
I’ve seen and like America’s Next Top Model.
I’ve seen and like Popular.
I’ve seen and like House.
I’ve seen and like 24.
I’ve seen and like CSI.
I’ve seen and like Everwood.

Family Life
I get along with both of my parents.
My biological parents are still together.
I have at least one brother.
I have at least one sister.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I’ve run away from my home.
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve made my parents cry.
I’ve lied to my parents.
I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
I’ve lied to my parents about what I’m doing.
I’ve lied to my parents so I’d be allowed out.
I’ve walked out when I’ve been grounded.

Hair
I’ve cut my hair in the past year.
I’ve dyed my hair in the past year.
I’ve gotten my hair thinned.
I use conditioner.
I’ve used silk therapy.
I’ve used hot oil treatments.
I’ve curled my hair.
I’ve straightened my hair.
I’ve ironed my hair.
I’ve braided my hair.
I’ve had/want dreadlocks.

School
I’ve yelled at a teacher.
I’ve been suspended.
I’ve been sent to the principal’s office.
I’ve walked out of class.
I’ve skipped an entire day of school.
I’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class.
I’ve failed a test.
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve helped someone else cheat on a test.
I’ve failed Math.
I’ve failed Science.
I’ve failed another class.
A teacher has called my parents.
I’ve been caught skipping.
I’ve been on the honor roll.
I’ve been on effort honor roll.

bold everything that applies

You dropped out of high school
You live on your own
You live within 20 minutes of your best friend
You live within 20 minutes of the last person you kissed
You live within 20 minutes of your ex
You have hugged someone in the last 48 hours
You have been to the movies within the last week
You have had 3 or more boyfriends/girlfriends just this year
You have been a designated driver
You have broken merchandise and not paid for it
You recycle regularly
You are taller than your mom
You’ve written a check for less than $5
You have visited the Statue of Liberty
You have visited the Eiffel Tower
You have visited Big Ben
You have visited the Coliseum
You have visited The Great Wall of China
You have never been out of the country
You have been a waiter/waitress
You own a Bible
You own something with a Pentagram on it
You have used a Ouija Board
You have been a witch for Halloween
You have been a zombie for Halloween
You have been a Disney character for Halloween
You don’t celebrate Halloween
You have your belly button pierced
You have your tongue pierced
You have your eyebrow pierced
You have a Monroe piercing
You have your nose pierced
You have a tattoo
You have an ankle tattoo
You have a wrist tattoo
You have a back tattoo
You have no tattoos
You have 5 or more tattoos
You straighten your hair
You have worn a dress in the last 3 days
You live somewhere that gets snow
You celebrate Hanukkah
You were at your own house last New Year’s
You were at a bar last New Year’s
You slept through last New Year’s
You have worked on Christmas Eve
You have worked on Christmas
You have been told ‘I love you’ by someone today
You regret kissing the last person you kissed
You are wearing a necklace right now
You are wearing something red
You are wearing something blue
You are wearing something purple
Your phone is fully charged
Your phone number ends with an even number
You have kissed the last person you called/texted
You last called/texted a boy
You don’t like seafood
You have eaten deer sausage
You have been whistled at
You have been on a cruise ship
You have camped out in your own backyard
You are wearing something that doesn’t belong to you
You are a Pisces
You are a Leo
You are a Capricorn
You were born in May
You were born in June
You were born in October
You wonder what will happen when you die
You are afraid of the dark
You write in all capital letters
You have been told you have nice handwriting
You have had a song written for you
You have curly hair
You are within an hour of your birthplace
You are wearing a watch
You are wearing flip flops
You wouldn’t date someone who smoked
You know someone with the same birthday as you
You are a morning person
You are a night owl
You slept in past 10am today
You have big plans for next weekend
Your job is stressing you out
You don’t have a job
You have never had a job
You were fired from your last job
You know sign language
You made your bed today
You will usually try something at least once
You have been swimming in the last month
You are pessimistic by nature
You have taken a ballet class
You have taken karate
You wish on shooting stars
You wish at 11:11
Your birthday has already come this year
Your ex ended your last relationship
You are over your ex
You are engaged
You are married
You are divorced
You have a child
You were named after someone
You like your name
Your last drink was water
You have visited somewhere said to be ‘haunted’
You have skipped school just because you didn’t feel like going
You have taken medicine when you ‘feel a headache coming on’
You have a hangover
You have had a Jehovah’s Witness show up at your house
You have pet fish
You live on a farm
You live in a trailer
You have godparents
You have step-siblings
You are the oldest
You are adopted
You have a twin
You don’t want kids
You want more than four kids
You have made out with a complete stranger
You keep secrets from people.
You don’t think people would accept you if they really got to know you
You don’t trust people easily
You borrowed something you really need to give back to someone
You have lost a friend you never thought you would
You know a child who died of cancer
You know a teenager who died in a car wreck
You have done something illegal in the past 24 hours
You have been pulled over for speeding
You love to drive with the windows down
Your favorite season is Autumn
Your favorite color is orange
Your favorite animal is a dolphin
You last rode in a car with a relative
You last rode in a car with a girl
You last rode in a car with the person you are dating
You regularly watch soap operas
You love Italian food
You love Mexican food
You love Chinese food
You can see a box of tissues from where you are
You can see your reflection in a mirror
You can see what’s on tv from where you are
Your best friend is older than you

MORE……
I’m the youngest child.
I am a boy.
I love wearing dangly earrings.
I am a gemini.
I love someone more than they will ever know.
I’m obsessed with dogs.
I can’t live without lipgloss.
I can’t live without music.
I get an allowance.
I’ve seen Jason Mraz in person.
I get annoyed easily.
I eventually want kids.
I love to read.
I have more than a couple horrible memories.
I am addicted to the Disney Channel.
I am a girl.
I’m a worried person.
I’m in high school.
I love taking pictures.
I don’t like girls who are fake.
I like to swim.
My dreams are sometimes weird.
One of my best friends is gay.
I have way too many purses.
I dress how I feel that day.
I’ve never fallen asleep during school.
It bugs me sometimes when people are really late.
I procrastinate.
I have too many clothes.

I like to sleep in.
I’ve failed a class in high school.
I’m afraid of spiders.
I have nail polish on my fingernails or toe nails right now.
I love my hair.
I never fight with my parents.
I like the beach.
I have never had the chicken pox.
I’m excited for the future.
I can’t wait till my birthday.
I love my friends.
Christmas is my favorite holiday.
I can be very insecure at times.
I have never broken a bone.
I’m taking german class.
I have a laptop.
I state the obvious sometimes just to reassure myself.
I dance randomly sometimes.
I’m a good singer.
I like cleaning my room.
I never get jealous.
I love cute underwear.
I love doing math.
I cry when I see homeless people.
I like hugs.
I don’t like to study for tests.
I love God.
I am too forgiving sometimes.
I have my own vehicle.
I love high school.
I have a lot of under garments.
I’m a daddy’s girl.
I love kisses on the forehead.
I love the color pink more than the rest.
I love to sew.
I have blue eyes.
I like being a passenger in vehicles at nighttime.
I play soccer on a team.
I become stressed easily.
I’ve never lied.
I like comfy sweatpants.
Paul Walker is cute.
I love the smell of the rain.
I am right handed.
I hate getting shots.
I’m a perfectionist.
I’ve gone mooning.
I hate the feeling of failure.
I love camping.
I have fetish for guys who speaks cantonese
I like going on rides.
I can be quite shy.
There’s something I will never forget, either because I can’t or because I just don’t want to.
I love looking at pictures.
I do well in school.
I like hot tubs.
I like to be alone sometimes.
I’ve never smoked anything.
I’m only photogenic if I’m the photographer. (LOL this is funny)
I have never had just a plain, brown teddy bear.
I have been in the girl scouts.
Most of my friends are younger than I am.
I’m of legal driving age but do not have a license.
I love stuffing (the food, just so you know).
My favorite flower is a sunflower.
I love bread

IKNOWIAMVERYBO-LIAO

HAHAHA!

Byes~

\Jingxuan/

I don't want freedom

2011-03-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

i don't want this. i want us

2011-03-10T22:37:00.001-08:00

guilt responsibility money stress.

and i realised i only enjoyed 2 months of goodluck.

What Are Words

2011-03-09T17:52:00.000-08:00

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight

And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

Dedicate this song to someone i love very much.

2011-03-08T20:21:00.001-08:00

hao xiang qu kan dian ying. chi dun fan.

2011-03-08T20:17:00.000-08:00

Everything stopped.

2011-03-07T01:09:00.000-08:00

I plan a great birthday celebration for baby.. though abit budget and small but i hope he likes it=)

love you!

Speaks my Mind

2011-03-04T00:36:00.001-08:00

Just because I don’t text you, doesn’t mean I’m not wondering where you are. Just because I don’t call you, doesn’t mean I don’t miss your voice. Just because I don’t talk about you, doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about you. and Just because I don’t say it, doesn’t mean I don’t love you.

-az-

money makes the world go round

2011-03-03T16:50:00.001-08:00

Sch is starting..

initially, i wanted to start on 11March for the foundation units because i want to focus on something instead of thinking all sorts of nonsense.. unfortunately, steph has to go overseas with her boyfriend and both me and her still have not save enough.

YES we couldn't even afford the foundation units.. and after i hear the lady at SMa explain the course fee..we just fell silent.. $22k for two years.. meaning

1year-11k plus
1month-$900.

it seemed like a small amount.. so we ain't that worry abt the $22k fee. BUT foundation units have to be paid in one lump sum.. and my second solution is to take a second job like steph.. and mayb i'm taking night jobs like 2-3 days a week.. clubs or pubs was the only thing i can think of that can earn slightly more..im asking people for vancancy alr so expect me to be super busy from next week or the week after onwards.

to steph: JIAYOU TO US! we must ace our double major!

Life is unfair!

2011-03-02T00:22:00.000-08:00

School is drawing nearer and nearer..i initially thought i'll study at SIM and start school on july or august and have a short lil get away with baby.

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...

I chose SMA instead with doggy and school is starting on May=( sigh.. really wish i could go oversea with him for once before i really crack my head working cum studying. ARGHHHHH why must we study?!!?!?!?!?!!! DAMN IT!!!!!

ok finish ranting.

Jingxuan

I don't need you=)

2011-02-28T23:12:00.001-08:00

first of all, stop your nonsensical facebook update and tagging..If your trying to prove to me that you don't need a friend like me, i can tell. or if your showing the world you have many friends you can count on... all i can say is, some of your friends are actually siding me.. Second of all, if i did any wrong, come tell me. And I'll tell you this, i didn't put any blames on you when you PS me twice and one was even on my 22ND BIRTHDAY where i was told you took leave to celebrate with me and i don't even see a silhouette.. Had it not been for boyfriend, i'll be like some fool waiting for the celebration to appear.Lastly, i took initiative to sms you when i don't even know what fault i am fucking in to deserve all this shit. and i tell myself 3 times without a reply, I will give this friend up.

Yup its the third time.and yes i give up. i will still smile at you if i happen to see you on the street but i will not be the same as before. My friends are so right. why get upset and stress over a "good" friend who don't even attend your birthday as promised when you have better friends in your contact list? I don't give a fuck about you anymore since i'm so insignificant in your eyes and you can have my words=)

all this aside. when are we going prawning again uh? 10march?

and happy 2 months boyfriend=)

Self asked-Answered Question

2011-02-27T22:58:00.000-08:00

Should i change my hair colour to something more orange?or stick with this colour?

Ok let's not side track too much.. i find my blog pretty boring so i decided to do a Q&A to be asked and answered by me. I know i'm lame retarded boring-shit bo-liao but just read if you have nothing better to do. At least my blog helps u kill 2-3mins of your time.

Q: What is the meaning of your awful blog name?
A: Ihavenocontrol doesn't mean i'm some slut who cannot control myself or something... its just a song by Bullets for my Valentine and i fell really in love with that song and hence the blog name,

Q2:Do you have a christian name?
A2: Yes, people who are close to me should know that i actually have a awful and hideous christian name and i don't wish to make it official because it's so unsuitable for me.

Q3: Do you think you look pretty?
A3: Yes! i think look pretty if i have a more define jawline, lower forehead,straighter teeth, slimmer body, bigger boobs, and my sexy abs.

Q4:Do you have somebody you detest currently?
A4: As a matter of fact, no.

Q5:Any wish you have in mind now?
A4: Study, Go overseas with friends and with boyfriend before school begins.

Q6:Describe your bad points
A6:I used to bad mouth a very good friend of mine and when i almost lost her.. i stopped and from then on i don't bad mouth people who are real close to me. coz i can't afford to lose them.

Q7:Do you think you will die soon.
A7: I always have a hunch that i'm gonna die by the age of 30 by a disease or hit by a car. mayb i watch too much CSI but i promise boyfriend i'll go checkup real real soon.

Q8:who do you find cute and why?
A8: I find my doggy cute because she loves barking when she knows i'm coming home.. and i find it cute when boyfriend scolds:"nb turtle" literally in front of me LOL

Q9: Are you jealous of any particular person now?
A9: Yes. someone i don't even know but is related.

Q10:Do you have a secret to share?
A10: i love smelling my fart. HAHAHAHA!

ok that's all

byeeee~

I-phone 4

2011-02-27T16:58:00.001-08:00

tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Inky Business

2011-02-23T20:58:00.000-08:00

My fingers and nails ache from pulling and applying pressure on the ultra huge customise chop.. i have to apply pressure on each and every alphabet one by one and it freaking hurts.. The best thing is I have ink all over me. DAMN IT and it can't be cleaned off! I have to take bus with body full of ink!

The thing is It's friday tomorrow!

SO CUTE!!!!

2011-02-23T00:34:00.001-08:00

Was chatting with JP and i hao-lian to him that i had this ultra cute Cinamoroll tissue box holder at home that i bet his girlfriend will fall in love with it.( his girlfriend is also a fan of cinamoroll too!!) Then he went to ebay and search and found an even cuter holder!

So freaking cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! but heard there's only 1stock left and so i decided to let JP buy for his girlfriend since i already have a tissue holder=( If anyone saw this somewhere in singapore selling less than $25 please let me know k?

Signs off

22 things i dislike

2011-02-22T17:51:00.001-08:00

Today's post will be about things i dislike.

I dislike animal or insects or whatever that are slimy and has many legs.. like snail, centipede, caterpillar or cockroaches.
I dislike meat of any kind except beef and fish.
I dislike watching CSI when the episode is on lost of kidney or liver of the victim.
I dislike falling down in the office almost everyday and injuring myself with all the ugly bruises on my leg=(
I dislike my current phone because everyone is using smart phone except me n i look retarded with my phone.
I dislike sleeping alone but i have to overcome this obstacle
I dislike people who take me for granted
I dislike thinking alot when i have nothing to do
I dislike having nothing to do
I dislike people who compare me with other people
I dislike people who don's reply my calls/sms
I dislike bathing in cold water.
I dislike my ugly hair and hair colour
I dislike not being able to break out of that circle to do something extraordinary
I dislike being weak and getting sick
I dislike needles and injections
I dislike the smell of chicken rice
I dislike myself growing fat when i only eat a little
I dislike my weight my height my face my body
I dislike seeing people i like, go
I dislike seeing my loved one sick
I dislike being paranoid

Ok thats all.

Signs Off

22 things i like/ like to do

2011-02-21T23:59:00.000-08:00

Copied from Stephanie's blog.

1.) i super like to eat sushi
2.)I like every different kind of mushrooms.
3.)i like dogs. especially toy poodle
4.)i like my girlfriends and bitches
5)i like to eat the 10cents sour candy
6)i singing loud loud in the office when im happy/sad
7)i like my newly revamp room
8)i like going on a simple activity like park stroll
9)i like pink blue black yellow red
10)i like to eat prawns
11)i like to eat mussels from MOSburger
12)i like salty things
13)i like CSI NY
14)i like babies
15)i like to joke
16)i like to watch IP MAN
17)i like Jason Chee
18)i am beginnning to like CLEO Magazine
19)i like my dog
20)i like Fadzila, my bitch
21)i like to see my nails grow
22)i like you.

Next post will be 22 things i dislike hahaha!

Ciaos
JIngxuan

Sorry=(

2011-02-19T06:58:00.000-08:00

Don't ask me why i type this entry.. i just felt very very very guilty. A big sorry to Wenna and Theresa for not turning up when i promised. There were some miscommunication and misunderstanding.. i was looking forward to the dinner but.... =(

let's all meet up real soon!

loves
jingxuan

2011-02-15T18:16:00.000-08:00

So many things happen in just 2 days after Vday.. Happy things seriously don't last forever. All i wish now is for god to give me back those happy moments i experience days ago and let is stay frozen like that forever. Let me forget all the unhappy past and present can?

Alright gotta go work. I'm damn aimless now. Shit!

S-T-R-E-S-S

2011-02-14T23:45:00.000-08:00

Jogging later coz im so damn stress.

The First Time we Met.

2011-02-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

The first time we knew each other was on Zul's 21st birthday and it was months and months ago. I didn't even catch his name.. i thought his name was "5" or something. To me, it was impossible between us.. like totally..I used to tell people:"we are impossible" "he look like a china man" and i even kick a huge fuss with my friends over this issue.

He seemed like an alien from another planet.. i cannot communicate with this guy because one sms (sometimes) took me close to 5 minute to totally comprehend it when i usually take less than 10secs. There were past relationships before him and i used to think looks is EVERYTHING. and i can tell you that now too. but what is looks after 10years? do you think you can look like the present Andy Lau even after 50 years? Like his OSIM adv, not everyone can be Tian Wang unless you have the fucking money to buy that Tian Wang OSIM chair. What matters most is how he treated me and all the very touching things that he had done for =)

Ok let's not side track..we did sms like once or twice a week.. but i kept thinking its impossible and that i merely needed a listening ear to listen to what i have to say.. then came NYE which was the first time, i realise, impossible should be spelt as "i m possible" that his actually a human and not alien.. that his name was Mr MOK!. Then we went out and it was everything that put us together. I kept thinking back and i realise wow.. somethings are really fated. like when we say the same thing at the same time or when he knew what I'm thinking and vice versa(and ytd's Korea dinner surprise)

His a stupid boy who puts other people before himself. He bought me gifts like chanel Chance and the necklace from Goldheart and i see him not getting anything for himself and he forced me to drink a super bitter herbal tea because I've been coughing.He watch movie that i want to watch even though 3/4 of the movie i chose sucks and is a waste of money.. he always shows his 101 expression on his face and he have been forgetting things recently which is damn cute!He tries his very best to make me happy with his stupid jokes and he succeed all the time..and he create a very memorable birthday for me when he realise my friends couldn't make it.. and so many moreeeee.

Sometimes, there may be some small disputes and i really wish you can have more faith and confidence in yourself coz to me your perfect.. ofcoz i will change for the better too so that everything can be smooth sailing and happy.

Appreciate this post hor. coz I've been thinking of what to write ever since last week!

ILU, Mr Mok!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

celebrate with your loved one people!

loves

jingxuan

He will never have a girlfriend.

2011-02-11T01:08:00.000-08:00

Chance upon my 3 hotties! and seriously, i'm damn crazy over this 3 and i still am now.

And now for the epic and F funny people who will never have a girlfriend,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA fucking funny! some people are just so bo liao to create all this to make me laugh in my office alone!

meeting boyfr. later!

Ciaos

Jingxuan

I Wish..

2011-02-09T20:14:00.000-08:00

I wish i can be a better person and as a good friend to all my bitches because i really really can't live without them..

I wish i can be a fillial daughter even though there were some major disputes..But i will be more guai and not argue with them unnecessarily.

I wish i can be a good girlfriend to my super shuai boyfriend.. because i love it when he smiles and when he start nagging like an old man!

SINCERELY, just this 3 wishes will do. others ain't that important for now=)

Yours Faithfully
Jingxuan

Christina, Look at the Caption you wrote 2years ago and us now LOL

2011-02-07T16:43:00.000-08:00

FFUNNY!

What is Love?

2011-02-06T23:28:00.000-08:00

To me, Love is us=)

Let's go stroll the park and shop at Ikea again!

Today i cried.

2011-02-03T22:16:00.000-08:00

Imagine how tough it was holding yor tears everytime you feel like crying but you don't want your friends to be upset and you have to just bite your lips hard and swallow all the tears.

Today seemed like a perfect day for me.. i was watching movies alone at home and suddenly i thought of moving all my stuff to the next room and start to be independent and sleep alone. Well, i'm still afraid to sleep alone.. it was an sms from someone special that just made me damn happy that i started packing and singing happily in my own room.

Then came an sms from that special someone that got me all drenched in tears and i stopped packing.the room is in a huge mess now.. i'm feeling real down too.. i thought i was being a very good girl assuring you in everyway i can to make you feel at ease..i thought yesterday was the day we stop all the misunderstandings and start afresh...i thought you were the one who told me you don't want to be my brother or good friend.. then came that sms that i wish i had not seen but is already etched in my heart.

Oh simple thing where have you gone. I had a good cry and i'm gonna start packing to clear all the mess.

enjoy this CNY people!

ciaos
jingxuan

Photos in my phone recently.

2011-01-28T19:27:00.000-08:00

My $10 work dress. damn fugly. not gonna wear ever again!

bi lian! my 'mummy' . She's always there to listen to my complains, my happy stuff, and my singing~

My $10 top!

Super nice Royce chocolate that Theresa bought for my bdae!

My bed with new bedsheet, new pillow,new quilt and the teddy bear jiahui and qi en bought for me=D

Chocolate that supplier gave me.

ok. done with this post. gonna eat royce for breakfast!

ciaos

jingxuan

Now i Know What I Want.

2011-01-26T17:31:00.000-08:00

Ever felt so lost and unsure of what you really want in life and suddenly, everything just became crystal clear to you?

friends, Family,work, school, love were the 5 main things that were bothering me
It's like a ratio.. you have to slowly equate everything so that every factor is proportionate. I'm really trying my utmost to balance all 4 but once in a while i fail and whichever falls, the whole equation collapse and I'll start blaming myself and becoming real upset.. asking my friends if I'm the one at fault for everything.

Friends
I guess this has got to be the biggest cum challenging test of our friendship so far.We've been through thick and thin and i really wish all 4 of us will be as good as before. Doggy and I am trying to pull you up on board but i guess we manage to only save 1. Still, I'm glad upon knowing who will be by my side in times of troubles.

Family
I can see we're trying our best to gather more frequently than ever. But to be frank, I'm quite upset on my birthday for the fact that i know my parents didn't really put their heart to plan and my dad didn't celebrate it with me. But the birthday cake Rachel bought me still cheered me up a little=)

Work
Work is definitely working out for me. My colleagues are awesome and i get free gifts almost twice a week from my supplier.. ranging from chocolates, ang paos,calenders and whatever rubbish you can think of. If there's is no such thing as studying, i think I'll work here forever. LOL

School
School is something that has been bothering me for as long as i can remember. It was a tough fight with my mom but in the end i gave in to her and decided to study for a degree.Doggy and I still have not pick a school but we're definitely gonna start school this year. Good luck to me and hope i don't flung.

Love
Such a simple 4 letter word but yet so complex. It can bring you sky high, or slam you face down. But all in all, i just want to say, i enjoy most of my time with you! And i find your nagging on Health and Nutrition super duper cute! Do you feel the same way as i do?
LAO DA/DR Love/baobei!

Ok so this are the 5 that i really want now. others ain't that important to me for the time being. It feels good to have a direction of where your heading=)=)=)=)

P/S I'm growing fatter.

Regards
Jingxuan

Happy Belated Birthday to ME!

2011-01-25T01:00:00.000-08:00

(Ignore the stupid face beside)

Dream Potter

2011-01-24T16:52:00.000-08:00

Did you guys catch Dream Potter on Channel 8 every Monday? it's about families who are having difficulties coping with their lives due to liabilities or illness within the family member.

Last night was the last episode for the show and they featured this 85 year old woman whose having difficulty with life but still wants to contribute and help the needy. The woman had this very unfaithful husband who had been having affairs and left home years back when they were younger. One fine day, she saw her husband in a nursing home, old and unknown to his surrounding, and took pity on him and took him back home. She have to tolerate with all the insults and whisperings people have been saying about her husband and decades later she forgive him and brought him home...

she had a son whom she took good care of and eventually he left the family without coming back. His son had a child and he push the responsibility back to her mother to take care of her grandson. However, it was not long that she realised her grandson commited suicide and she was in great sorrow and despair.

Sad things didn't just end there..She was diagnose with some illness and had to undergo operations. however, due to heavy side effects, she's blind... The amazing thing is she never gave up on life. She makes a living by making beaded baskets. She never asked for anything in return and even open a fair so as to raise funds for the needy..

I teared on the part where she gave ang bao and visit the needy families, giving her words of wisdom.. I remember she held this woman's hand in her palm and tell her:"you have to stand up.. i've been through all this over the decades and i'm still standing strong(something like that)" and she really did.

We're always complaining...constantly..In my case, i'm whining about why i haven get my iphone when in fact, we already have everything we need... what we want always exceeds what we need. we must learn to be contented that we have friends family and loved one by our side.

Having been said, i still want my iphone coz i waited for very long alr.. haha! but people, please learn to be Zi Zhu Chang Le.

jingxuan

To C

2011-01-21T17:35:00.000-08:00

Thanks for clarifying. I hope our friday meeting is still on wit steph=)=)

ok im sooooooooooo happy now! ytd was awesome though i almost died eating... let me recall what i ate..

baked rice with fillet.
3 har Gao
3 fried wanton
4 tang yuan in ginger soup
1 strawberry cake
abit of cereal with milk

OMG and that is just for dinner itself.. lucky i shit everything out earlier on if not i don't think i can continue eating for the rest of my life.

Bagpack trip will be up real soon. Fad and i to KL! 2 person! ho seh! and fad thanks for the card.. life will be so bored without you in facebook with me everyday! Thanks Qi en and jia hui for the teddy bear=)and thanks to the rest for the clothes=) awwww i really really sincerely love you guys!

P/S i promise not to scold too much vulgarities from now on. i need to maintain my guai guai looks.

MArche next!

ciaos
jingxuan

2011-01-20T16:59:00.000-08:00

I just can't stop smiling the moment i see you! and i can't believe your "friend" bought the same wristlet as me. your"friend" have real good taste indeed!

P/S... to C, i took initiative and ask u out.. i was real touched when you reply me like a friend. Then i saw your twitter and i wonder what i did wrong again.

jingxuan

To whoever thinks is you.

2011-01-18T22:48:00.000-08:00

I don't know if your referring to me in your blog but sorry. I don't feel the sincerity, at all. other than club what else do we do this few months?

And you say you try to reach out to us. Then why is it that my sms are always left unanswered? I know i'm not the "main" characters in the group when we go out.. but i'm still a human being with feelings. You think i don't feel left out when the 3 of us go club and the 2 of you are chatting away and i have to try my utmost to go into the convo? Then why ask me out in the first place?

You say in your blog that you are busy. Alright maybe you really are. Then when will you be free? i will never know because u don't reply my sms. Sometimes i really miss the good old times, where i will tell u abit of my life and you tell me abit of yours and we giggle and joke and laugh damn loudly.. Will the day ever come with your busy work style and bo-chap sms attitude? i may be wrong at on my part.. i may have made a mistake or 2.. if so, just tell me. I will compromise if its within my capability.

But one day i still wish you will sms me to ask me out sincerely..and when we go out, you treat me like a friend and not an invisible facade. If you have some issues with what i write, come sms me and ask what's going on.I still think you are a great friend in the past and i hope you still are now.

That's all i want to say to you.

Thanks ah boy.

2011-01-17T16:39:00.000-08:00

Thank you for the Ajisen treat and all the shopping and crap about shit! hahahaha! I'll treat you chap chai peng with 5 dishes at any kopitiam in return.

P/S Stupid boy!

Au Revoir
Jingxuan

An entry for myself.

2011-01-16T07:38:00.000-08:00

I used to think life seriously sucks. my family are biased, i don't have much good friends or normal friends to hang out with, my relationship sucks and stuff.

Recently i realised things are starting to fall into it place very swiftly and smoothly. Like i can tell my parents are making an effort to reach out to us.. and even though i don't have many good friends to hang out with, i know i can still rely on that small group of friends i always hang out with..

Relationships used to be a cycle to me. i know the guy, we get together within days, i quarel and become unreasonable, we break, we patch, we break ,we patch and eventually we break. Then something real bad or silly is bound to happen and i will bear the grudges with me for as long as i can remember. Yesterday, i went from town to esplanade area. It was full of memories, good and bad. but eventually, bad memories weigh more. Then i ask myself, why should i get all sad and angry when i can just remember all the good ones and live on with life?

and after that i felt great. Like today, im super happy and light, i have a new direction. i know what i want now. and yes, i wish my friends, my family and you will stay with me happily for as long as it goes. I may still have some troubles with friends, but to me, if you just wanna act or be a two headed snake, then i'll be like you too. but to my true friends(you know who you are), you know i'll be there for you.

so, Raise your glass! toast to me!

Au Revoir`

Next time you point a finger i'll point you to the mirror

2011-01-14T18:06:00.001-08:00

Is it my birthday? or yours?

2011-01-13T18:09:00.000-08:00

Seriously.

Random things about me

2011-01-13T00:46:00.001-08:00

Ok I'm fucking busy but then I'm taking some time off my "personal breaktime"to blog.. HAHAHAHAHA! Oh wells~

1.) I love to eat Yu Pian Tang.

2.)I use 3 cups in my office (1 super cold, 1 super hot, 1 warm)

3.)I want to slim down but i have too much temptations recently.

4.)I hate being accused! (not referring to anyone currently)

5.)I have fucking bad temper when i am being accused.(not referring to anyone currently.)

6.)I Loveeeee Chocolates and animal biscuits n popcorns

7.)My phobia of meat got worst and i stopped eating hotdogs. (Except for GV's cheese hotdog.)

8.) I love to tan xiao pian yi.

9.) I have tooth decay due to eating too much tidbits.

10.) I love eating sugared cuttle fish with my cinamoroll chopstick..

11.) But i stop eating after my dad told me that eating too much cuttlefish will die.

12.)I think Koi is over rated and SuPei Bubble tea is better.

13.) I drink apple banana juice EVERYDAY since New Year.

14) I'm pretty much contented with my life now even though i agree that steph that our quantity of good friends are decreasing.

15.) Stephanie Zhang Wen Yuan is my licensed dog. If you see her running around in the park please bring her back to me.

16.) I love to eat the Dou Sa Bing that my house downstairs provision shop sells. (ok i know my sentence structure sucks.)

17.) I love Andersen's rum & raisin. i think i can finish 100tubs of it.

18.) I can't live my life without soy sauce.

19.)I think i blog mostly about food today.

20.) I think I'm in love~

alright. Got to get back and chiong my work. I'm damn imba!

ciao
jingxuan

Missing the times

2011-01-10T20:35:00.000-08:00

I miss you so much.. sometimes i refuse to accept the fact that your gone. Can you feel me missing you?

To friends and loves, treasure whatever you have=)

loves
jingxuan

Past and Present

2011-01-09T22:02:00.000-08:00

when we were 14 or 15. (ard 2004 i guess)

Us 7 years later hahahahahaha! fucking funny!

N I'm so hiappy now!! i'm gonna bring the winnie the pooh mug to work tomorrow!=D

Jingxuan'2011

2011-01-08T23:09:00.000-08:00

I don't wanna be emo and from now i'll be happy. but here's something i want to say to you both:

I don't care about being your friends coz you just pronounced it dead. rest assure i wont even sms u both. coz i ain't gonna waste my time.

thats all i wanna say and i felt better=)

ciaos
jingxuan

My ugly days (Based on a true story)

2011-01-07T17:09:00.000-08:00

I used to look ugly and hideous TTM.Like this:

i know i have a unique smile. Well actually, i have phobia of having a photographer take picture for my passport photos and hence, everytime the photographer says:"Yao xiao ah (Need to smile ah)" my lips will cramp and shiver up and down. This photo was taken like 6,7 over times and the photographer and my mum just gave up and pick this ugly photo for my IC.

To me life was dull, i went secondary school and make friends with Stephanie,Christina and Hui Fen.The 3 of them were like goddess among us 4 and im the ugliest. Be it wearing or looks. They used to have "steads" all the time and never once did i had it.Often, the guy i like won't even notice me and some even fell for my 3 good friends. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I remembered someone once say:"omg! i die also won't date with that Jingxuan coz she's so uglyyyy"and i really felt like i'm at my limits alr. So Christina brought me to this spectacle shop and that's the first time i get my contact lens.When i was sec 3 or 4. It wasn't very super chio, but somehow there are people who started wanting my number. The first time an ah beng took number from me, i just stood there for a few seconds, and ran off. hahahaha! i had my hair cut to some real ugly hairstyle which i thought was nice... something like this....

Oh and i put braces too! the braces part was the most memorable part. I never intended to put braces because i find the tooth extraction part pain and its freaking expensive. The reason why i put was because, i used to eat macdonald with this guy i used to have a crush on. I ordered fillet burger but couldn't finish it. The guy told me to leave it there as his still hungry and will finish it for me. the first thing that came to my mind was :"omgggg we share saliva hehehehehehehe!"

HOWEVER, the moment he saw the burger i ate (my teeth was damn croooked and there were uneven teeth bitings on the burger), he told me he lose his appetite or something.. .cant remember and that was when i pluck up my courage to put braces.

This photo was when i had my first boyfriend and he took this for me -.- and it was my first time recieving present from my bf (the star necklace). but i threw it away the moment we broke up.. but its still very memorable memories hahahaha!

Ok shall not elaborate too much for the following photos.. Me and Steph.. when we were like in sec4..like 5 years ago! hahaha

This was one epic photo!! Can you even believe the guy on your left is ZULKIFLI? he used to be 86kg loh.. look at him now...So proud that he had slim down that i gave him a kiss.

Well i Changed alot tooo...

Christina and i at MOS like 3,4 years ago. hahaha!

At my Favourite Ice cream store with Mr D, my bf back then.

Badminton session with heng and chris!

Swimming session with Qi en.

And this was the most recent one on NYE powerhouse.

My point is there are no ugly people in the world. only lazy people=)

ciaos~

Saturday come quick!

2011-01-06T16:40:00.000-08:00

Okay i'm not very emo when i come to think of the dinner outing with Doggy later and my CSI exhibiton tomorrow hehe!

I wanted to bring a notebook to the exhibiton tomorrow but i don't want to look stupid, jotting down notes like a primary school kid on excursion.But i decided to bring a mini notebook in case i really see some interesting info. The ticket is bloody expensive, but since i got my pay already, i might as well pamper myself and enjoy something that i really love=D

On a side note, I just wanna say, though i may work at industrial park.. though i always get disturbed by banglahs and Tiong kok workers.. at least i have great colleagues, great working environment, great food and most importantly GREATER PAY THAN YOU.

And on another side note, it won't work out because you won't open up. and i give up having to act happy when i'm already very upset and having to listen to all those hurtful things that you say.

Something I Want to Say

2011-01-05T16:40:00.000-08:00

What is a friend to you? Someone who'll be there when you needed them? or just someone who'll comment on facebook,blog, twitter or whatsoever saying:"miss you babe! let's meet up" but it never came true for even once. Sometimes i don't even know your intention of writing all this.. what are you trying to show? that we're super great friends in the cyber world but in actual fact we're like total strangers?

And I'm referring to more than 1 person by the way.

And then there's these group of friends, who'll only ask me out for clubbing. Ok i know I'm quite a steady person. If i have nothing to do and you guys wanna go club, I'll still follow the majority. But sometimes, after knowing each other for so long, i wish we could do other things. like movies or normal day activity. I don't like to be crowned the party animal. It sounds awful and every time i hear it, i don't feel good. Those who already have a girlfriend currently.. you send me sms when you were quarrelling or in cold war with your own girlfriend and totally ignored me when you are in good terms with her. Sometimes when your bored (and perhaps your girlfriend is busy doing their things) you send real weird sms like I'm interested in you but i already had a girlfriend.. or i wish you could be my Part time girlfriend. Guys, am i a toy or plaything to you? i can be there for you as a friend.. but i feel real upset when i receive this type of sms. Like i don't deserve to be treated well.

Like the previous sentence, it doesn't apply to only one person.

There's this good friend of mine. I used to think no matter what she'll be there for me. Until now do i realise, I'm the one whose been asking her out. I'm the one whose been initiating to sms her. I stop sms-ing this person and from then on, i don't get a reply or sms from her until i started initiating again. Then one day, a guy friend told me she asked him out for dinner and stuff and I'm like... if you wanna compare the length we knew each other, I'll definitely win that guy.. To talk about closeness, i won't lose him either. But in the end you prefer to tell a guy your personal issue than to tell me. And yet u kept telling me we'll be there for each other.

There's more but i don't wanna write and get more emo. I just wanna get closer with all my friends since I'm single and i wanna catch up on the time that we missed when i was attached.

Don't take me for granted if you love me alright? be it as friend, lover, or family. And please sms me if you have nothing to do or i'll keep thinking negatively.

P/S Emo story aside, i still wanna watch movie and go science centre and sentosa and zoo.. anyone?

Signing off

The very upset girl who wrote this entry.

I don't wish you well.

2011-01-02T20:50:00.001-08:00

I don't deny it really felt GREAT seeing you so emo. Like what you say, it's karma. and i think you're only tasting the least of it for now. Your the only one that i don't wish well and yes, i think whatever the girl may be thinking, it's probably true.

Don't get me wrong, i will still say hi to you if i happen to see you on the street. but then again, I'll be thinking :"revenge is taken"

Living good is the best revenge one could ever have taken. and I'm living my ultrasonic-great life now. Boo to you wee to me!

Loves,
Jingxuan

2011!

2011-01-01T20:29:00.000-08:00

Went PH on New Year Eve for countdown. It was mad awesome!! I wanna wish everyone a happy 2011 be it if i hate/dislike/like/love you.Took lots of photo and i just extract some coz its really too much.

With the very chio yewkee. i envy her complexion and everything loh. god is so unfair to me! but i look slim here and I'm so happy coz i know i grew abit of weight=(

This was nothing.. just to prove the point that i kiss girls more than guys. N i think my hair colour rocks! in case you guys wanna dye, it's Liese Milktea Brown.

I kinda dislike this photo at first until i realise everyone had different expression instead of posing and smiling for the camera. Damn epic!

Polaroid always make people look chio.

That marks the end of my 2010 cum 2011.

The next day i met my doggy and ate Waraku for the first time with her. so not romantic! hahaha! somehow the first thing i realise on 2011 was what a great friend she was. I'm never really very mushy with all this things but it was yesterday that made me realise who really will stand strong beside you.

She understood how painful it was physically and was there for me until xiaohei appeared.If I'm in pain but with another group of friends.. i don't think they will even give a damn to me. so thank you Stephanie zhang aka Admin zhang aka my doggy.

Actually xiaohei also played an impt role too. I guess it was the alcohol that made me burst out crying uncontrollably.. like when you know your life is in a mess but you don't know how to clear it even though people are there telling you that you should start to clean up the mess. He was there telling me his story and i always thought he was someone who lives in his own world that i totally cannot communicate with this guy. I'm glad i actually am able to find two such great friends despite the mess I'm in=) I'm gonna start afresh from 2011 onwards!

And i just wanna say, I'm not giving anyone false hope. If we could be friends, then why not? I'm trying to be myself. if he assumes that i am, I'll stop contacting him. We never know what may happen in the future and for now i don't wanna lose these 2 good friends.

and fad, your not forgotten!haha!

jingxuan

My 2011 Resolution

2010-12-30T17:53:00.000-08:00

Random/last photo of 2010

i used to be so slim..

Okay back to the main topic..

HAHAHAHA each year, as always, i make a list of my resolutions and some ain't even considered a resolution.. its a must-do!some are just something i wish for.

so...

Here Goes:

1. Buy a new wallet. I bought my fugly wallet when i was damn down and yea.. once i'm back to normal, that black ugly shit is in my bag alr..

2. Slim down. As always~

3. Take up a course in uni and start my f-boring study adventure.

4. Still keep in contact with all my friends.

5. Bintan!

6. Buy a toy poodle!

7.RICH!

8. Club less

9.Be more decisive

10. Have an awesome birthday

11.Grow my finger and toenails

12.world not to end in 2012

13.Revamp my new room

14. Learn to sleep alone instead of with my sis. (yes im scared. u got problem?)

15. Zoujieming to accept me as Xiao Ying

16.Learn to sing

17. My mr right to bring me eat sushi and take me to flyer and ask me to be his gf~

18. Get my bonus!

19. learnt to cook more dishes

20. Tioman!

21. Hungry Ghost festival to end in 3 days instead of a month

22. Stay happy no matter what.

Okay 22 to show u that im going to be 22 soon.

Remeber my birthday: 24 January 1989.

Thank you!

Loves
Jingxuan

Squeeze!

2010-12-27T15:27:00.000-08:00

Had an awesome Xmas this year! But it also burnt a big hole in my pocket coz i've been buying lots of X'mas gifts in return. My office's X'mas socks is FULLL of candies and chocolate and a gift and i felt happy everytime i see or touch my socks!

Kelvin gave each of us a packet of Sticky candy..not really to my liking though coz its kinda sour.. Fadzila seems to love it alot..

Love the pink packaging of the candy! Ultra cute! like me! HAHAHAHA

Jenny gave each of us a Teddy bear piggy bank. It's ultra cool coz you can dismantle the head, the body and the legs and save different coins in different body parts. COOLNESS!

This small wrapped gift is recovered from my X'mas socks.. its actually a cute cat chime. kinda cute but i forget to snap a photo of it.

And to show you how happy i was, i cam whored abit hahahahaha

My freaking ugly X'mas dress.. totally spoil the xmas mood when i think of this dress.. damn fugly!

Hiappy~

After work, met up with Zul, Fad and Yk... was kinda aimless coz it was an impromptu meet up... we stop by Brewerks for dinner and took tonnes of photos n video but YK haven uploaded it yet so i'll update again once she uploads=)

That marks the end of my Xmas eve!

Xmas was more fun! went BF and happen to see Chris and friends... they had a hotel room at fullerton n it was super duper fun!!! i wanted to stay but i don't wannna be the lamp post there hahaha!! happening night! and i saw Yixuan too=)

Took lots of polaroid shots but i only manage to photo of one..

his the hybrid of Robin and Paoming haha

Alright that marks the end of my 2010 Xmas..

Monday was fun too!! went kbox with Jiahui and Qi en hahahaahah i sing like shit! but Qi en sang damn nice and me and Jh were so envious of her voice loh... we joke and laugh and sing all the way till 10.30 and i kinda miss them now alr... i miss all the times we had when we younger and i almost teared when i read faizal's blog archives... how i wish we could go back to those times and laugh like nobody's business as though we had no troubles...

Anyway, brought my polaroid along and snap some shots for each of us to bring home

WEEEEEEE!! i wish everyday can be so happy!!!

And to Stephanie n huifen, no matter what happen, you'll still have me as a friend. Love you doggy and rabbit!muacks muacks

Ciaos~

2010-12-27T00:52:00.000-08:00

Just when i've decided to stop clubbing... all the xmas, new year, and birthday celebrations at CLUBS appears.

Thanks huh!lol

Jingxuan

Who, me?

2010-12-26T16:32:00.001-08:00

I used to fall so deeply in love. As long as i like him and vice versa, i just felt that his the one. Stupid right? And before truely and fully understanding each other, we got together.. Then all the sweet, romantic stuff of being together slowly disappears and before you know it, you find yourself in all kind of misunderstandnings, arguments and breakups. Stupid again right?

For now, There's no one in my mind. I used to think why can't i have a relationship as sweet as Steph's or Jiahui's. But now, i'm so afraid to get into one. Life is full of surprises yea? And i kinda love my life now with all the meet ups with friends or movie time session at home. It's great.. I don't have to be worried of what i'm doing or who i have to account for..

I'm so stupid once, but those times when they make me stupid, Kharma will pay it back to them.For now, i'm just gonna enjoy life the way it is and look forward to New Years Eve at PH. After that, i should really stop clubbing.

And yes, i'm fucking disgusted by your acts. You should have told me earlier and i would have fuck off sooner =)

Zhao liao
Jingxuan

This ain't wierd. It's call unique.

2010-12-20T20:20:00.000-08:00

I feel like shitting seriously... i can feel alot of shit in me now.. i know I'm full of shit.. but I'm in the office and i can't shit unless its my house's kitchen's toilet bowl.. omggggg still got 6 hours before work ends...and i have some criteria before i can shit at home...

first, the toilet floor must be super duper clean and dry.. if the floor is wet, i cant shit too ... don't ask me why!

Second, i must have teenage magazine.. if not nothing comes out either..

Third, the toilet must not stink.. I spray perfume each time i enter the toilet before i shit.. don't ask me why again!

Lastly, i don't shit unless its my house's kitchen's toilet bowl..so don't bother asking me to a long holiday trip. hahaha!

alright. that's all the shit i wanna say.. i wanna shit!!!!!

ciaos
Jingxuan

2010-12-18T21:11:00.001-08:00

~~Can i really move on?~~ Moved!

Wordy

2010-12-18T19:57:00.000-08:00

Powerhouse was AWESOME! at least way better than butter. I saw like so many cliques of people.. from Harry's clique to Shao guang's clique to Qiyou's clique to Germaine's clique to Jasper's clique and last but not least Jaycob's clique.

The make up girl is still there and even 'hotter'.. now she wear shades to PH with a huge ribbon on her hair... like some gift hamper for CNY. wanted to make friend with her.. but well .. too many bees are swarming around her..

AWESOME night! and that marks the end of my clubbing journey.Please don't ask me to club unnecessarily. I don't want to be labelled the party animal. it sounds so not me! And the next time you see me in club please don't ask me why I'm in club when i say i quit.. I'm gonna be there just for friend's birthday.

I wanna be a clean and healthy girl who works and go out with friends over the weekends to do healthy things other than drinking and smoking.

my next plan,school! i remember hc ask me:'don't you have savings for school?' I'm like there thinking that my savings is barely enough for half a semester of school. n i realise doggy and rabbit are really destined to be good friends coz we're been broke half of the time haha!No time to cry and stuff.. I'm gonna save and see how it goes by then.. I know mum meant me well and I'll listen to her and get a degree.. but to think of taking exams and all the contents and figures that I'm gonna face, i really don't know if I'm up to it. but I'll still try since the school fees is my hard earned money.

ok i'll end here. Movies later!

Au Revoir
Jingxuan

2010-12-18T00:17:00.001-08:00

ZOU JIEMING! Can i be your Xiao Ying?LOL

Random, i know 2

2010-12-17T17:51:00.000-08:00

Saw angeline post something like this on her blog and i decided to copy her haha!

things about me
1) I don't eat any meat other than fish.

2)I have fetish for guys in short hair.

3) I think Gays are cool

4)I have bad taste in choosing guys.

5)I wish i'm taller and slimmer

6)I cant shit if i don't drink that fucking disgusting water my dad bought.

7) My dad is damn cute!

8) My mom just gave me $5 to buy breakfast

9)Boy, your so cute in that huge geek specs!

10) I always wish i had Colbie Cailat's voice

11)I can sing almost every Rnb songs.

12) I can carry 1 gallon of water!

13) I just stapled my thumb at work ytd

14)I sang damn loudly in office ytd

15)I dunno what to eat for breakfast.

16)I love my colleagues

17) I love to shake my leg when im in dress

18) I love to pretend to be the lead singer for Paramore.

19)I loveeee Cadbury chocolate!(Fruit and Nut, Macadamia)

20) I wanna watch TRON even though doggy say its not nice

21)I lost my wallet 4 times this year

22)I always wanna go overseas for once with someone i love.

23)I believe in Kharma

24) I want a Toy Poodle for my bdae

25) I dunno whether to get iphone or BB

26)I have my own room but i don't dare to sleep alone

27)I wanna dye my hair real soon

28)I think i kiss girls more than guys.

29)But i'm not a lesbian LOL

30)I lOVEEEEEE CSI and Britain's Next Top Model.

31) I love guys who does sweet,simple things for me

32)I feel like a dog when people touch my hair

33)I think i look like 21

34)I'm an ultra bad drinker

35)I'm super cheapskate

36)I love to kiap my head on someone's arm.

37)I hate guys in Mohawk

38)I love ZOU JIE MING! <3

39)I miss my long hair

alright enough.. i can't think alr.. off i go to buy breakfast with Rachel=)

Je'taime
Jingxuan

Miss Me?

2010-12-14T06:50:00.000-08:00

I bet you do!!

Anyway i deleted the previous entry since both of them apologised to me alr.. Life have been great so far. Been going out with Doggy and Rabbit for the past 2 days.. we saw this round white balls for people to scribble their thoughts on.. didn't manage to take a photo of Rabbit's scribble.. but here's doggy's:

"Wish my 2011 with Louis will be great (and forever) with love Stephanie(Doggy) " and two ugly people she drew hahaha!

Mine:" wish i can earn a lot of $ on 2011 love Jx" and a "i don't give a damn to life" face.. i wanted to write something similar to steph but well.... haha!

Office was like a war in the morning and the funny thing is, i'm the only one fighting..but once its past 3pm, i'll start singing songs in the office like nobody's business.(I'm the only one working in the top level besides my directors.)

bought my Geek specs finally but its damn not suitable for me. i don't know why it always looked nice when i wanna buy but turns out awful once i bought the specs.

Yes! and i dyed my hair. I KNOW! NO DIFF! i'm so gonna change another colour before New Year!

so chio!

As chio as Sailormoon!

Spot my christmas socks! I went to peek in my socks and i have lots of candy WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!and there's more socks but my camera sucks and i couldn't get a full view of everyone's christmas socks.

Shall end off with a act cute photo of me in case you guys forget how i look like.

Au Revoir

Jingxuan the sailormoon

2010-12-12T16:58:00.001-08:00

super sian. i dyed my hair and the colour seemed to be the same. omg! my money flew away just like that.!

And after a chat with Justin, i realised his such a genius and mature boy. though he don't seemed like one.. and it was till yesterday then i realised it. i was just in utter shock for that whole hour after what he say. LOL! Angel is so lucky to have him and vice versa .

2010-12-12T02:31:00.000-08:00

i cant believe i get over within 2 days.Damn inba!

anyway i hope we're still friends;) i'm building my wall up high.

Off to eat dao huey in an hours' time.

Ciaos
Jingxuan

2010-12-09T00:41:00.000-08:00

your so cute when your shy!haha!

2010-12-08T00:44:00.001-08:00

Wah Lao Eh..can you both don't be so fake?

noms.

2010-12-07T16:31:00.001-08:00

LIONEL GOH i want Ben & Jerry's Strawberry cheesecake go buy for me!

and thank you Primary school friend and friend.. you guys are such a bastard but then at least i know what guys are thinking lol! Let's meet up soon!

Alright, this morning when i woke up, i had this urge to wear nice nice to work.. so i think i look kinda chio and happy now HAHAHAHAHHAHA.. shall show u a picture tonight! anyone wanna go dinner tonight?

Jingxuan'10

i dunno what i'm blabbering

2010-12-06T22:20:00.000-08:00

saw jace in the bus today and i dunno what we talk but we somehow mentioned my aunt.. it's been months since she passed away. i wonder if heaven was nice.. and i want her to know that i really really really missed her alot..

My cousin once told me that she dreamt of her... until now my aunt never even visit me n my dreams.. maybe because i haven been sleeping well.. sometimes i wish she was there to tell me everything is alright.. i wanted to share lots of things with someone whom i think i can pour everything out..till now, that person, be it a boy or a girl, still never appears. Sometimes i wish to say something out without having someone saying:"see i told you alr.."

i really love us together all this while.. like it was sweet and simple.. like that day when i was sick and you appear at my doorstep with fishball noodle, i was super touched.. and when you force me to eat my dinner when i alr have no appetite..and when your alr very tired but will still try to be awake to entertain me..but sometimes i dunno what your thinking. One moment it was so nice and the next i don't feel it anymore..and when u have something in mind you don't share with me and i don't know what your thinking at all and at the end of the day we misunderstand each other's intention.. i really wish you could tell me everything that your thinking coz I'm not a mind reader(i can't believe I'm the one saying this!) i wish we can have mango pudding tgt later but i reckon its all but just another misunderstanding that we decided not to clear.

alright.. like the title states... i dunno what I'm talking too.. i just wanted to write out what i;m thinking coz i cant find the right person to tell..

Enjoy your Tuesdays, friends and family=)

Ciaos
Jingxuan

anorexic is kinda cool

2010-12-05T03:48:00.000-08:00

I kinda think its nice looking like this.. Please don't kill me after reading this, friends and family!

2010-12-04T20:02:00.001-08:00

Small boy, can you don't be so cute? awwww!

2010-12-03T19:28:00.000-08:00

can i reverse time for just this once?

2010-12-01T00:49:00.000-08:00

you totally misunderstand my intention! but i'm glad we're good now=)

i'm so hungry but i think i'm kinda determined to slim down this week and i really did slim down 1kg within 5 days KEWL!! Let me teach you how... eat a little of everything for every meal!

parrrrrrttttaaaayyyyy later!!!

Ciaos!

hehaho!

2010-11-29T18:05:00.000-08:00

When i broke up, i totally dread weekends.. its like the mundane boring routine; sleep wakeup watch csi , amazing race, wipeout and Britain's Next Top Model and eat dinner. and i really love working coz my colleague are cool people like me.

But now, i kinda love weekends! like this friday i have a Movie date with Mr Poh.. Saturday i have birthday party and sunday....................................................................................................... alright i'm staying at home on sunday coz it's my CSI Supreme Sunday. i wonder why i won't get bored watching it.. and i soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo want to go to the exhibition!

ok tonnes of work to do in office gonna chiong now and enjoy later!

byes!

cool

2010-11-28T01:58:00.000-08:00

now that i begin to move on i kinda start loving my life now=)

And i still have not go to the CSI exhibition... i know it sounds stupid but i sign up for the Teens mag contest so i hope i win the tickets..

Anyway show u guys one photo that got me laughing for very long:

ok i sibeh bo liao..hahahaha

Byess

2010-11-26T23:57:00.001-08:00

Awesome night last night! i think it's always fun to club with just girls other than mixed.. we can do whatever we want!!

The gays last night were o-m-g STUNNING! they dance like nobody business and i scream and cheered for them like nobody's bloody business too!

And there's this very eccentric looking girl who seemed to come club alone... she had a pouch slinged across her waist and she's put on foundation every 10 minutes.. Her dressing was ultra beyond explanation...i laughed like nobody's business when yewkee tell me she's clubbing today because the kopitiam gave her off day and she don't need to sell beer that day. hahahaha!

Let's club again when we have money haha.

Ciaos
Jingxuan

2010-11-25T18:06:00.001-08:00

no more than friends please!

Thank you bud!

2010-11-23T07:03:00.000-08:00

Thanks buddy! for the bouquet of roses and the RL perfume and 2 ultimate huge cuttlefish! I'm like so shock when i saw it at my office table.

the bouquet was damn bloody big that i cant take a nice photo but THANKS!

Should i dye my hair to another colour?

Ciaos

Jingxuan

2010-11-21T05:06:00.000-08:00

I'm seriously looking forward to next friday. hope it arrives real soon!

2010-11-20T06:11:00.000-08:00

today i'm PISSED to the max. like seriously.

WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE TAKE ME FOR GRANTED? when they need me they sms me and ask me out.. and mind you one of them already had a gf and even flirt with me via sms and even mentioned about meeting me in the middle of the night.. what you want? sex is it? go fuck ur underage girlfriend please... another take me like i'm her toy.. when needed will be nice if not no matter how many times i sms her, i DONT GET A REPLY. Next one.. only cared for his loved one. OTHER THAN THAT? YES NO REPLIES.

I seriously won't reply all this people and i even deleted one person's contact.

SCREW ALL OF YOU seriously.

Ok i rant finish alr.

ciaos
jingxuan

This is really for you.

2010-11-17T22:12:00.000-08:00

I'm glad we ain't together anymore coz you treat all like nothing. i wonder why i'm so nice to keep finding jobs for you and in the end i get nothing in return. I'm glad im single now and im glad i have so many people who will be there for me when i needed them.

Being indecisive is my weakness and up till now do i realise its being indecisive that kills me. Saying yes i'll give up but deep down i know i have not. Saying Yes i won't contact him anymore but in the end i'll still send him my regards.. Saying Yes i habour no more hopes when i no there's a glimpse chance that we might end up together.

And now, saying yes, You Lost Me Forever.

Jingxuan.

Your the First i Say This.

2010-11-17T20:12:00.000-08:00

Seriously, you're acting like a pussy.

2010-11-16T08:21:00.001-08:00

$1 made our day=)

2010-11-15T20:34:00.001-08:00

i guess you forgotten.

2010-11-05T20:57:00.000-07:00

pangseh me not once but twice within two days. That really shows how much you 'love' me.

i won't habour hopes anymore. and i'm gonna learn to be more decisive in future.

i'm a pervert.

2010-11-04T18:26:00.001-07:00

Was watching High school musical with Rachel and i went to google Zac Effron while watching.. i really have fetish for guys with that line at the side.. i dunno what they are called too but ain't he damn sexy with that two lines??

OMG!!!!!

My nose want to bleed alr! so hot!!!! in case you still can't figure what i'm blabbering about above... here's the picture :

HOT!!!!

And i love his collar bone too!! yes i'm a bian tai but who can resist him?? and also taylor lautner!!

alright ciaos~

my last entry to you

2010-10-31T18:18:00.000-07:00

I believe you must have been very upset.. in the first place, we're just quarelling over time issues.. how it escalated to money and eventually breakup... till now i don't even know why. i wanted you to spend more time with me.. it's a promise you made to me.. that after you quit this job, you find me more but you didn't.. ofcoz i envy melvin and angeline or steph and her bf who'll meet almost everyday.. have lunch together go out together.. but i understand that your someone who needs to balance your time between friends and family..so i guess there's nothing i can do yea?

and you tell me your broke, that's why you couldn't come and find me..how much does it cost to come to hougang? i can go to jurong if you want me to.. and we won't spend much money too.. we can always cook lunch instead of eating outside.. watch downloaded movie instead of heading down to the cinema.. like i say im not asking you to bring me to some extravagant restaurants or whatever.. just you and me watching tv and talking rubbish at my house.. ain't it just simple yet full of love? you had no money but you can play mahjong.. and go out with your friends.. but coming to meet me is too expensive for you.. am i that materialistic in your eye? it pains me you know.. to see you wanting me to understand that your broke but time and again you went out with friends and spend money more that you go out with me..

You know, if you love someone, you'll tell her to go back to you.. not ask her to find someone better should there be people wooing her. i ask for a changed of status in facebook to " in a relationship" you tell me your afraid guys will not dare to woo me if i change my status.. do you know what does this show? it shows you don't love me anymore. i'm not a toy for you to cuddle and love ..then throw away or give it away to someone else just because you have no confident in our love. it breaks my heart to hear all this from you.i cried almost everyday when i recalled what you say.. i don't know what you told your friends.. i have nothing to say anymore..all i ever wanted was to stay by your side even when your poor and support you and give u love.

Put yourself in my shoe. One day when i'm poor, and i say:"let's break up. coz i'm bankrupt and poor" will you leave me?

think.

that's all i have to say to you. All the best to you.. i'll try my utmost to move on since that's what you wanted. good luck for your new job and please fucking stop smoking if you know you don't have a healthy body. stop eating instant noodle just because your lazy to go downstairs to buy food and share your computer with your brother. You have a good bunch of friends by your side and im sure you've move on alr.

And last but not least, please remember that i once loved you.

Jingxuan'2010

FML seriously.

2010-10-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

yes FML! I lost my wallet and i'm still looking for it... i totally had no money to even go out (my ez link card is inside.) i don't even have a cent with me... i just bought bread to survive the week.. omg i super bored at home.. no money=no outings.

FMLFMLFMFLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLLLLLL!!!!!!

Please kind souls, if you found a black pouch with 50 inside and my ez link card and NETS card and some photos and receipt, Return it to me please!!!! I'll be very grateful to you.. i'll give you a thousand kissses if you found my wallet.ARGHHH i'm going crazy!

ciaos
jingxuan

2010-10-30T02:15:00.001-07:00

ineedalotofattentionandlovelol!

family day

2010-10-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

Went over to ah ma house because Uncle Graham came back to Singapore from london for a short holiday. it was nice seeing the whole family there... uncle graham gave me a very nice warm hug and ah gong was like telling me in hokkien:"ji ni kua le ji bai" ( one year only see you once.) It's very much true and Uncle graham overheard what it meant in English and was telling me to come more often as we won't know when one might be gone and we didn't have enough time to treasure it just like my aunt.. all of a sudden, i missed her.

And i think my ah gong and ah ma are great people.. it's a pity my family won't join us.and sometimes i wonder why my parents would say even the awful things about them.but whatever, i still love both side of the family.

i will treasure every single one and meet them up as often as i can..it's only when u personally experence how someone dear to you is gone forever that will make you really buck up to treasure your loved one around you. I love everyone!

cheers
jingxuan

busy life yo

2010-10-22T02:24:00.001-07:00

Yes i'm damn busy recently that i totally have no time to blog and use facebook. Work just keeps coming..

I've been keying tonnes and tonnes of PO..

Our new outlet will be out soon at NEX, a new Shopping mall at Serangoon Mrt Station and i might have to go down with my managers and directors to help out... i've been loading loads and loads of paper work and stationary for their outlet..

I have to come out with a $4000 budget proposal for all outlets and i haven have the time to do so. DAMN!

I've been generating quotations after quotations... and i have to do HR manager's work of replying complain letters that i came out on my own under her name.. DAMN IT!

Audit is around the corner and my manager is asking me to participate with a project from PD.THANK YOU AH! PUI!

They better confirmed me asap and give me a pay rise! If not i'm so gonna quit and find a better pay job.

RAH!

ok i rant finish alr.

Byes~

2010-09-29T18:13:00.001-07:00

Sometimes i really wish i had it all.

Steamboat

2010-09-27T01:58:00.000-07:00

Had a super delicious steamboat with the family yesterday.. it's like the first time i realise our dining table was damn small because there 7 of us eating. But it was cozy and nice. and the beef was.... oh so heavenly!! now that i think of it, the taste still lingers in my mouth haha.

had a small chat with mom. My mom is wierd sometimes. She only start talking to me only when there are guests at home. Most of the time she ignores me and i dunno why. But anyway, i begin to ponder upon my future. Is studying what i really want to pursue? Are u the one i can count on? Will i be able to earn enough to support both me and my family?

For now, all the answers to the questions are mostly "no". I have no definite "yes" after what my mom told me. and even though the steamboat was pretty enjoyable, the talk did damp my mood for the whole day and even now.

sian...